The art of using compromise to save your relationship: Is conditional love really sincere and genuine love? What are you most likely willing to give up, and leave behind in order to refocus fully on love?
What are you ready to let go of in terms of beliefs, needs, but also activities, passions, and friends to save what seems to be essential to you?
To what degree are you ready to change YOU to recreate this harmony in the “WE”?
Are you one of those couples who, over time, forget to seduce each other, “look good”, say “I love you” share good morning images, or even spend quality time together?
Are you one of those people who stop learning from each other, mistakenly thinking that these semblances of knowledge still allow them to make their relationship work today?
Are you one of those who become insensitive to their vibration, lost in this automation of “doing”, being, or even acting?
Are you part of this mass that has lost the euphoria and the thirst for discovery to the detriment of a “destructive” and tasteless routine in which nothing seems unified?
Your main mistake is to believe that your couple is acquired for the rest of your life and that thus, you no longer have to make efforts to maintain this osmosis.
Your second mistake is to confuse compromise with effort.
You must feed your couple of days in order to make it evolve at the same rate as the two actors that compose it. Your relationship needs to be enriched regularly with new information emanating both from “self” and from others.
The effort must be seen as something natural that can be brought on gradually in order to solve a defined problem. Using respectful and non-directive communication in which everyone gently expresses their shortcomings and concerns can be an excellent way to become aware of what needs to be transformed. A real open-hearted discussion allows us to see the type of efforts and actions that we are ready to make mutually to get back on the right track.
Compromise, meanwhile, can very quickly take on this character close to sacrifice and force you to go against the “self” to keep your relationship going at all costs. It can very quickly look like an ultimatum in which you can feel trapped and manipulated.
Compromise is more of an obligation while effort, on the other hand, leads us to perfect certain settings without being dissociated from the self.
How many of you have already resolved or forced yourself to deprive yourself of your freedom for the sole purpose of saving your romantic relationship?
“For the love of you, I’m ready for anything!” ” … Really?
Ready for anything, because fear teaches you to act this way? Because I’m afraid of being abandoned, of being rejected by others?
Ready for anything, because you are struggling to assert yourself?
Ready for anything, since it seems to be the only solution to no longer suffer from the derogatory remarks as well as the pressure that the other inflicts on you?
Ready to abandon this lifelong friend, because the other does not accept him?
Ready to give up this leisure which brings you well-being, because the other has decreed that it was an obstacle to their development?
Really ready to let go of everything that is futile or parasitic in both of your lives in order to refocus each other on what matters?
The nuance between the two is important to understand. In one, the compromise is love, in the other, it is only the fruit of manipulation and fear. In one, the compromise is appreciable since it is based upstream on a constructive and beneficial reflection in which everyone is free to carry out this necessary introspection in order to “banish” from their life what does not make them happy. On the other, it is only a way to take the upper hand over others by trying to influence these choices in order to obtain one’s own satisfaction, even if it means dragging them into certain suffering.
Communicate or impose?
Negotiate or give in?
Build together or separately?
Equity or injustice?
A compromise must always be made in the interest of each and not on the basis of a decision made by one for the attention of both.
I can understand that a sudden change in the other, just like a divergence in their desires, their communication, or their projects pushes you to find a solution to avoid estrangement or even the definitive loss of love.
I can understand that you want to maintain this reassuring and comforting balance at all costs.
I can understand that the oscillations in the behavior and the attitude of the other push you to use all the stratagems to deal with this imbalance by rectifying the situation.
But do you concretely think that it is by depriving it of its main attractions that you will find the one that once made you vibrate?
Do you think that by exerting an influence on his own universe, this one will be able to fully respect yours? And even if it seems to be for a while, do you really think it can last forever? At any time, a justified rebellion on his part can arise and do a lot of damage.
Before making perfect use of the art of compromise and concession as a “weapon” to revive your relationship, it may be worth reviewing your “strategy”.
Refocusing on the basics, solidifying the foundations, and reconnecting to the simplicity of your love can be one way to restore what seems to have faded over time. Perhaps you think, wrongly, that nothing works between you anymore instead of seeing this phase as a blessing to bring your relationship to a new dimension.
Believe me, do not take this path that will make you choose this or that happiness to the detriment of the other. Your friends, hobbies, passions, friendships, etc. are as vital as the love you have for the one who shares your life. Everyone feeds you in their own way, which is why you cannot dissociate yourself from the happiness present in your different areas of life.
Love is knowing how to give up what no longer makes me vibrate to welcome new vibrations. It’s not running away from what thrills me today hoping for better vibes tomorrow.
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