How To Prepare for Your First Meeting with a Divorce Lawyer

If you’ve decided that there’s no option left but divorce, speaking with atleast a couple of lawyers is recommended. Initial consultations are usually always free, so there’s nothing to lose. But you can learn a lot of information when you attend attorney interviews if you enter the discussion with the right questions.

1. Request them to describe their Method of Going Through the Divorce Process.

Every lawyer you talk to will likely have a slightly different approach to this. The divorce process is similar in terms of paperwork, but the lawyer’s strategy may differ. This open-ended question can provide some insight into the tactics they may use to help you reach the final step. Some lawyers run to court for every little thing in a divorce. If this isn’t a good fit for you, inquire about how often they typically find themselves in court during a divorce process. Are you anticipating a heated custody battle for your child, a major argument over property, or any other issue? Ask your lawyer how they’ve helped clients achieve favorable results in similar situations in the past.

1. Ask About Communication. How will they check in with You Throughout The Process?

When you’re seeking legal advice for divorce, the only way to be aware of how often you’ll communicate with your attorney and through what channel is if you ask. If you’re an email addict and hate phone interactions (or vice-versa), make that clear. Make that clear if you’d like regular face-to-face meetings to discuss your situation, a video conference, or messaging via an extra safe platform. Set out your expectations for communications upfront. Keep in mind that it’s your divorce. You have the right to choose the person who assists you with it and how regularly you keep in touch with your legal counsel.

Quick tip: Find out if your lawyer has staff (preferably a certified paralegal). You can save a good amount of money on fees by forming a relationship with team members who bill at a lower hourly rate.

Ask how you can keep track of the Status of Your Case.

Many lawyers are incorporating technology into their practice – which is good for you. The process is more transparent, making it easier to follow it step-by-step. While interviewing lawyers, ask if their office utilizes any technology or other management software that you can also use to contact your attorney, look over your filed documents and keep track of the progress of your case.

1. After You’ve Laid Out Your Case, Ask Where They Think Things Potentially Going Off Track.

This is an excellent opportunity to ask for help thinking ten steps ahead. After you’ve laid out the process which led you to pursue divorce and shared the result you’re hoping to achieve once your divorce is final, ask the lawyer about the instances where things went off the track in similar cases they’ve handled. 

Talk About Payment.

This is particularly important if you’re worried about your finances. It’s beneficial to know if there are alternatives, for instance, monthly payments or one payment upfront and then at the end. If you’re unsure you can afford the lawyer you like, inquire about their method that helps clients pay divorce attorney fees out of the marital estate instead out of your pocket. Lawyers who want to work with you can aid you in finding ways to cover their costs and may even offer alternatives that include working closely with a paralegal throughout the bulk of the process to help you keep costs low.

A Checklist Of Things You Need To Bring To Your First Consultation With A Divorce Attorney

Your Goal (If You Have One)

Many women’s primary goal in hiring an attorney may be “get me out of this marriage!” But honing in on what you’d like your life to be when the dust of divorce is settled can be an effective tool to determine the way you’d like to go to end your relationship.

Based on your specific circumstances, your goals may be major safety factors. For example, if you’re likely to share parental responsibility with an ex-partner whose drinking caused the end of your relationship, then you might need a clause that restricts your ex’s driving while he has custody incorporated into your divorce decree. However, the majority of clients’ goals usually have to do with long-term financial and emotional stability. If you’ve spent a decade of your career aiding your partner in building a successful enterprise, getting a share of the equity is a good idea.

You should think about what’s important to you financially, logistically, and emotionally. Note your thoughts on paper, then take them to your attorney’s office with your list of priorities. A rough outline of what you would like your life to be like prior to and after divorce can help your lawyer decide how best to free you from the matrimonial maze and assist you in determining whether the attorney you talk to is a good match for your objectives.

A Brief Financial Picture

Take the time to create an instant financial overview before you go for your divorce consultation. It is recommended to make a list of all your financial accounts (including, but not limited to, checkings, savings, money market, investment accounts, and retirement accounts) both together with your spouse and individually. This list should include how the account is titled, i.e., who is the primary account holder and the current balance. In a second list, you must include all your credit accounts (including those not restricted to personal loans, student loans, mortgages, car loans, etc.). That list should contain the name of the debtor(s), the current balance on the debt, and the monthly amount. The third list should be a list of any additional assets you or your spouse have and the current value of those assets. Consider your home, your cars, your boat (if you’re lucky enough! ), and any other expensive items that you may own.

A crucial aspect to highlight to the lawyer you meet is if you do not have access to your accounts because your spouse is withholding them. If that’s the case, absolutely inform your attorney about this! Financial manipulation and control are red flags of abuse. If you’re being deliberately blocked from your accounts, and your lawyer doesn’t identify this as an abusive tactic, think about consulting with an attorney specializing in domestic violence.

A List of Your Questions

If you’ve been contemplating whether or not to cut the cord of your dying marriage, you’ve likely accumulated a long list of existential, emotional, and financial concerns. Remembering to ask them all during a consultation is as difficult as remembering to ask your physician all of your questions in an appointment. It’s hard!! Write down a list to ensure you do not forget the questions you’d like to know.

No matter what you bring to your divorce consultation, don’t overlook why you’re in the office of a divorce attorney at all: (1) to get the latest information on divorce in your jurisdiction, (2) to gain an idea of what your life could look-like after divorce and (3) to determine if the attorney you’re working with is a great match for you. With this knowledge, you’ll be able to determine the best way to move forward toward your New Normal.